That when God invented marriage, he already had the saving work of Jesus in mind. If God had the gospel of Jesus’s salvation in mind when he established marriage, then marriage only “works” to the degree that approximates the pattern of God’s self-giving love in Christ.this is the secret–that the gospel of Jesus and marriage explain one another. And that, Paul says, is the key not only to understanding marriage but to living it. Jesus’s sacrificial service to us has brought us into a deep union with him and he with us. He died to his own interests and looked to our needs and interests instead (Romans 15:1-3). He gave up his glory and power and became a servant. But further, he willingly went to the cross and paid the penalty for our sins, removing our guilt and condemnation, so that we could be united with him (Rom. Jesus the Son, though equal with the Father, gave up his glory and took on human nature (Phil. And what was that? Jesus gave himself up for us. It is the message that what husbands should do for their wives is what Jesus did to bring us into union with himself. In short, the “secret” is not simply the fact of marriage per se. Yet the trouble is not within the institution of marriage but within ourselves. If we somehow manage, as our modern culture has, to do both at once, we are doubly burdened by a distorted vision. If they are too pessimistic and cynical, we misunderstand marriage’s divine origin. “If our views of marriage are too romantic and idealistic, we underestimate the influence of sin on human life.
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